I started writing this piece by asking ChatGPT ' What is a difficult person?'. This is the response it gave me;
This response covers all the bases, right?! I think just about everyone can relate to having a difficult colleague or a toxic office environment. For me, the 'difficult person' persona often shows up in my work, and I have spent a lot of time working out how to manage it. Some days I am better at it than others.
I recently was thrown into a big test of my boundaries - one which I personally tend to struggle with, saying no. It usually comes as the result of being a pushover when dealing with someone difficult, so I have been working on managing these relationships, and managing my own behaviour in them.
Difficult for me often means I creatively struggle, I land up doubting myself or second guessing every decision and idea. The perfect storm for a creative mess! Relationship dynamics can often be challenging, especially when dealing with difficult colleagues, clients or staff. It's essential to navigate these interactions with tact and composure. Here are 5 tips for dealing with difficult people at work, to help you handle even the most challenging work relationships. If you have more, please add them into the comments.
TIP 1: Detach Yourself
When you find yourself in a tense situation, imagine you’re an observer from above. This perspective shift can dampen emotional responses and prevent friction. Remind yourself that difficult people do not deserve your emotional energy. Cultivating a 'water off a duck’s back' mindset will help you maintain your cool and not react irrationally. An easy way to do this is to focus on removing ego-based responses.
TIP 2: Don’t Take It Personally
It's easy to feel targeted by others' negative behaviors, but often it's more about them than you. Recognize that the unkind or challenging actions of a colleague are a reflection of their own issues, not yours. Understanding cultural differences in communication can also provide clarity—it’s not personal; it's their style. Keeping this in mind can make their actions feel less personal and more manageable.
TIP 3: Pick Your Battles
Weigh the pros and cons before engaging with a difficult person. Sometimes, the cost of confrontation outweighs the benefits. If the difficult individual holds a senior position, consider if addressing the issue is worth the potential backlash or if it might hinder your job performance. Choosing when to engage is a strategic decision that can save you time and stress.
TIP 4: Separate Person and the Issue
View the person and the problem as two distinct elements. Approach the person with gentleness but be firm on the issue at hand. Preparing conversation starters like, "I appreciate your efforts, now let's focus on..." can help pivot the discussion towards a constructive resolution while maintaining a professional relationship.
TIP 5: Inject Some Humour
A well-placed joke or a light-hearted comment can work wonders in easing a tense atmosphere - with the giant caveat that your joke is not offensive. Humour can bridge gaps and realign everyone to the common goal without escalating the situation. It gives people an 'out' and can turn a confrontation into a moment of camaraderie.
Mastering the art of dealing with difficult people at work is a valuable skill that can improve your work environment and personal well-being, and one that can take a lifetime. By focusing on mechanisms to achieve positive interactions, you can maintain peace and productivity.
Remember, you control your reactions and these challenges can be opportunities to thrive!
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